Kia Ora Millah,it's Abbie here from Totara 4. I really like the story and how it's got some mystery in it ! Did you Mr Dumbledore from Harry Potter? Next time you could make you story a little it bigger! Other than that it's great! From Abbie
Bula Millah Your story gave me goosebumps! The main narrator was very brave to go out in the corridor by herself to find out what the screaming was. I would never be able to go by myself - I am a bit of a wimp! I like how you have a range of short and compound sentences. You have left me wanting to read more of the story. I am looking forward to the next chapter.
Kia Ora Millah,it's Abbie here from Totara 4.
ReplyDeleteI really like the story and how it's got some mystery in it !
Did you Mr Dumbledore from Harry Potter?
Next time you could make you story a little it bigger!
Other than that it's great!
From Abbie
Bula Millah
ReplyDeleteYour story gave me goosebumps! The main narrator was very brave to go out in the corridor by herself to find out what the screaming was. I would never be able to go by myself - I am a bit of a wimp! I like how you have a range of short and compound sentences. You have left me wanting to read more of the story. I am looking forward to the next chapter.
Love Mum